It is with mixed emotion that we acknowledge the passing of James Arthur Ray, self-help “guru” who led the “Spiritual Warrior” retreat at which our family member, Kirby Brown, died in 2009.
Knowing, as we do, the particular pain of unexpected loss, we extend our condolences to Ray’s family and loved ones. They now face a profound and complicated challenge in integrating this loss into their lives. Death defies our irrational but persistent belief in the inevitability of living.
While there could be some small measure of relief in knowing that Ray will no longer be able to harm anyone, it is, truly, very little comfort. It became clear to us early on after Kirby’s passing that Ray was just one operator in a multi-billion dollar per year industry built on the exploitation of those who would improve their lives and find fulfillment. The rot in this industry has always been much greater and more complex than the actions of a single so-called “guru.” James Ray was one among countless exploitative and dangerous self-help providers. SEEK Safely was founded in this reality—that an entire industry, not just one man, was responsible for Kirby’s death.
Greater than any sense of relief is a feeling of disappointment that Ray could have played a unique role in helping to define both the problems and the solutions for this industry. But rather than demonstrating true transformation, he remained stuck in the paradigm of an industry built on manipulation and mistruth.
We can only, at this juncture, remind seekers that no “guru,” or program, or mindset is larger than life or without fault. That a journey of self-improvement is noble and vulnerable. That we must always remain in charge of that process of growth and change, rooted in our values, our worth, and our right to seek free from harm.
Ray’s death brings no consolation to the family and friends of Kirby Brown. Our lives were enriched by Kirby’s presence and diminished by her death.